3.1a Neurodivergence does not cause domestic abuse!

Neurodivergence does not cause domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is about a desire to exert power and control over others; this is a learnt behaviour, and the person using violence is making a choice to behave abusively. In contrast, neurodivergence is a lifelong and innate neuro-cognitive difference. Statistically, Neurodivergent people are more likely to be victims of domestic violence and less likely to report their abuse or seek professional support than neurotypical people²³ ²⁴. Neurodivergent people are already heavily stigmatised and disadvantaged in their everyday lives. It is important therefore never to make assumptions about a person’s behaviour based on their neurodivergence, or attribute abusive behaviour to a person’s neurodivergence. Neurodivergent men who use violence in intimate relationships are likely to have experienced multiple forms of interpersonal and structural harm across their lives, including poor early care experiences, stigmatisation, discrimination, exclusion, and isolation²⁵. These experiences can generate feelings of shame and anxiety, which may manifest as defensive behaviours that can be challenging to navigate in intervention settings²⁶. While working at the intersection of anxiety, shame, and gendered entitlement is important when supporting many men who use violence²⁷, interventions must be both physically and relationally accessible. Doing so helps avoid reproducing harm while also enhancing safety for victim-survivors. In part 5 of the guide, we will explore ways in which practitioners can be more responsive to Neurodivergent clients²⁸ ²⁹.